Boredom on a Supposedly Busy Sunday

It is Sunday today.

I planned to wake up early and do some no-nonsense stuff. Contrary to what was planned, I woke up late and indulged myself into some mundane activities. So I grabbed some books and went to a mall because I finally decided to end mediocrity.

The plan was to have a signature hot chocolate in Starbucks while studying tax law. I headed first to the National Bookstore to buy something which I might find useful – a pen, a paper, or a book. I bought none. I realized that I already have a lot of pens of various colors, and a large supply of scratch papers to write on. I bought no book for lack of courage to spend more than a hundred pesos in the bookstore.

So I left the bookstore and went to Starbucks. Having seen a lot of people, I left. I did not find the place conducive for studying. I then thought of studying in Hollys Café near the dormitory. But while leaving the mall, I found myself uninterested in spending my next few hours studying. I need some inspiration to study, I told myself. I thought of watching a movie, but I did not find the movies in the cinema interesting. Then the thought of blogging came to my mind. What should I write? I didn't know. It’s not like I’ll be writing for Young Blood or some famous paper. I’ll be writing just for this blog, which is not as popular as other blogs (I actually don’t know whether I have readers other than me [lol]).

Instead of proceeding to Hollys, therefore, I went to my dorm and turned on my pink laptop (yes, it’s pink). I wanted to switch on the tv, but nah, I didn’t. Focus, I said. I had a theory that if I would focus on this, I’d have the requisite momentum to study. I hope that’s true. But whether or not the theory is true would only be learned after publishing this entry (hence, I cannot write about the truthfulness of such theory as of this moment).

When I started writing, however, I realized one thing – I have lots of things to do. So I asked - Why am I looking for other things to do when I have my own duties to perform? Why is my mind flying whenever I try to focus on studying? Why am I experiencing boredom when I had lots of academic stuffs to work on? Here are my suspects:

Overstudying. The schedule and the system in my school encourage the student to overstudy. The night classes push the students to devote the entire day preparing for the class in the evening. Professors’ style of demanding memorization on the part of the students seems to me as too barbaric. We are forced into saving the laws into our brains without loving them. We are encouraged to parrot them. I think that some of the means I use in studying are unnecessary. And I am bored in doing them over and over again simply because I have to play the game.

Grades. The game here is survival. It’s not about pursuing excellence; it’s pursuing the requisite qpi. Students are slowly becoming monsters – high-grades-seekers. They tend to please the professor (who, by the way, are not gods; they’re FALLIBLE!) not their own standard of excellence. But why don’t they understand that grades do not measure the potentials as well as the actual knowledge and skills of the students? Grades merely reflect the views of the professors who do not really know the students. These professors have not seen the students talk outside the classroom and analyze the laws. They just grade them based on limited activities performed in classrooms. The grading system fallaciously quantifies the quality of the students’ learning. But then again, that’s the game that everyone has to play. And such game bores me to death.

Passion. I am very passionate about the study of law. That’s why I hate parroting and abhor grading system. Why don’t we just focus on the law? Why don’t we talk about it not as players in Survivor but as future officers of the court? Yes, I am pursuing law; but I seriously think that I used my brain more back when I was in college. Back then, I was free to think. Now, my freedom is limited to embracing the imposed rules. Back then, I was passionate about pursuing excellence. Now, I am being compelled to be passionate about surviving.

Authority. Whoever has the authority is correct even though he is not. Are we then supposed to blindly follow the truth as told by the person in authority?

It is Sunday today. But I have to study. That’s what should be done to play the game.