The life of a law student is dark, yet bearable. From the very moment a student enters law school, his very essence or being as a person changes. This change in his being is manifested in different aspects of his life – in his physical appearance, lifestyle, relationship with others and perspective in life. A person viewing a law student's life from the outside – a person who had never been to law school – would say that a law student's life is dark. Yet the law student would say that this darkness is bearable. It is as if this darkness is just a means to the end he wants to achieve; that he has to live a dark or at least a seemingly dark life in order to become a lawyer.
The most obvious change in a law student is in his physical appearance. This change is different from the ordinary change in appearance that everyone undergoes due to aging. A law student would have less time to take care of his physical appearance because much of his time is devoted to studying. Likewise, due to sleepless nights, a law student's face becomes prone to pimples; and due to stresses, a law student becomes either skinnier or fatter because he either lost appetite or he turns to food to destress. But perhaps the most common is to see a student who now wears eyeglasses due to reading and now has calluses due to digesting piles of cases. His friends who are not law students would comment that he no longer has time for himself. To such comment, he would reply that his time devoted to studying is his time for himself. He might have lost the time that he could devote to going to his dermatologist or to a spa, but his want to become a lawyer calls for relinquishing these luxuries. The only luxury he could afford is to study.
The change in lifestyle is likewise obvious. The darkness in a law student's lifestyle is very much apparent. His life runs clockwork – his actions are almost calculated. Nothing in his life happens in spontaneity. Everything he does is directed toward his pursuit of becoming a lawyer. He sleeps at night after studying and wakes up in the morning to study. He no longer delights in going out with friends, as he considers these as unnecessary luxuries. His likes and humour are now different from those of his friends who are not in law school. This situation tends to isolate him from other parts of the world where he used to be. Nevertheless, he thinks that relinquishing the things he used to enjoy prior to his enrolment in law school is but necessary for his act of focusing in law studies. Others might call his new lifestyle dark – devoid of spontaneous activities which bring color to life. Nonetheless, he is masochistically willing to have a dark lifestyle.
The law student's new lifestyle changes his relationship with the people in his life. He has to focus in his studies; and this would sometimes necessitate the act of isolating the self from the others. At times, being a law student justifies his being a prima donna. He would want to become the center of attention so that everyone would be able to hear his thoughts and rants. This temperament of a law student may be justified as a defense mechanism on his part. In law school, he is never a special person; at times, he would think that he has the lowest level of intelligence on earth. Thus, when he is with others, he would want them to focus their attention on him and make him feel that he is special. The strange and funny thing here is that though his relationship with other people weakens, he develops a strong relationship with inanimate things. He now has the Codal as his best friend and his highlighters as great companions. He even develops a good relationship with a particular chair and table at a corner in the library – a relationship he wants to keep for years, if not forever.
Among the changes in a law student's life, the least obvious yet the most important one is the change in his way of viewing life. It is the least obvious because it cannot be empirically tested just like the changes discussed in the previous paragraphs. It is the most important because it is intimately related with the law student's growth as a person. Throughout his journey toward achieving his dream, a law student will be faced with dilemmas. His actions would essentially be anchored on how he views life and the things around him.
In a law student's pursuit of becoming a lawyer, the issue of quitting law studies would always pop out. Prior to entering law school, he probably thought that he's not a quitter. When he's in law school, however, the thought that quitting might be the best option would come to him. He would tell himself that he already has a college degree and he could have a high-paying job without the need of undergoing difficulties, sleepless nights and humiliation – the things he experiences in law school. He is thus faced with a dilemma of choosing between quitting and not quitting. Choosing the former will free him from darkness law school brings. Choosing the latter will necessitate the act of embracing the darkness and the thought that this will bring him to the “light” or to his dream. Anent the issue on financial independence from his parents, choosing the former would bring the law student financial freedom because he can now work and enjoy the fruits of his labor. The latter would, however, mean that he has to be financially dependent on other people. To those who will be financially supported by their parents, this would mean that the parents would have to finance their expenses despite the fact that they have been living on earth for more than two decades.
The other dilemma that he has to face is whether he will choose the difficult way of achieving his dream or whether he will choose the easier one. Related to this is the issue on whether the student will choose to stay in a prestigious law school but with a very strict system or transfer to another school which does not have a strict system. Further related to this is whether one will strive for excellence or whether he will be contented with mere passing. What the student considers as important in his life would determine his actions regarding these issues. His actions, on the other hand, would contribute to his growth and would greatly affect his future. The student who would want to become a big fish in a small aquarium would choose the easier way, but the student who would rather be a small fish in a big aquarium would choose the hard way and strive for excellence in order not to be kicked out of a prestigious law school.
He who chose to become a small fish in a big aquarium has to face the darkness of being a law student. He might be devoid of having happiness due to this darkness, but this will lead him to his dream or to Happiness (happiness with a capital “H”). It is because the pursuit of becoming a lawyer – the pursuit of a law student's dream – is a bearable darkness.
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The form of the title is patterned from Milan Kundera's “Unbearable Lightness of Being.”
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